Glimmers Of Jimmer
After four years away, former BYU star Jimmer Fredette has reappeared in America at age 33, knocking down jumpers at the TBT like he was 22. Many Utah Jazz fans are pining for the team to sign him
Hello! Thanks to my subscribers for hanging in there while my post-Covid clinic visits got underway. If you’re new, I hope you subscribe for free and become part of the BVU Crew. This week, I have a story for you about a fan base pining for the return of Jimmer, their prodigal son, to Utah. But, not just Utah, per se — the Utah Jazz. The former BYU star is one to whom fans can relate on many levels — including topics which might be somewhat uncomfortable but still necessary to talk about given how unpredictable owner Ryan Smith and CEO Danny Ainge appear to be. - Brian
Glimmers Of Jimmer
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Former BYU star Jimmer Fredette is playing ball again — at The Basketball Tournament. In the eyes of his fan base, this means HE'S COMING TO PLAY FOR THE UTAH JAZZ!
Now that Jimmer is tearing up the TBT the entire state of Utah [okay, most of it] is freaking out even IF DONOVAN MITCHELL IS TECHNICALLY STILL A UTAH JAZZ TEAM MEMBER. There have been whisperings [um, people here are literally demanding it] that the solution to SOME of the problems on the Jazz can be resolved by ... stop me if you've heard this before ... signing Utah’s prodigal son!
Never mind that NOBODY, not even Jimmer himself, has mentioned a single word about any of this. Never mind that Jimmer hasn't played in the NBA since *checks notes heerrrrre* the 2018-19 season! [And, never mind that Jimmer’s TMT team was eliminated from the TBT in the round of 16, and he only scored 10 points.]
And, never mind that it really IS just some pipe dream for a fanbase of a franchise that, in a year in which THEY will be hosting the NBA All-Star Game, will either: A. Trade away every asset possible to have a glimmer of a shot at Victor Wenbanyama and tank as badly as those stupid new Jr. Jazz highlighter yellow and black knockoffs you saw Jimmer modeling in the cover photo.
Or, B. keep Donovan Mitchell — much to the chargin of all of the racists, sexists, bigots and Trumpers with those sculpted beards, promo code INSURRECTION who burned his shoes and other things. And, then watch as Owner Ryan Smith REALLY shoves a hot poker up the butts of these fans by KEEPING PAT BEV AND POSSIBLY BRINGING IN WESTBROOK!
Because while Smith DOES NOT support ANY abortion [in a story from June I got into below], he DOES NOT SUPPORT RACISM OF ANY KIND! I mean, that's what it looked like when he didn't support #womensrights with a statement on behalf of the team, amirite? Ya know, the SAME statement he was more than happy to have written on behalf of stopping all of those Utah racists!
I guess Smith wants to make Utahns SqUiRm [again, for the 87th time!] while hosting some big marquee event in 2023 that only sponsors, his techie golf bros and Deer Valley chodes can afford. It's the Utah WayTM! Also, get rrrrrrrready for the Play-In Game! [Then Don will walk off into the sunset with his cat, because he isn't staying here past this season — for obvious reasons.]
Like all of the racists, sectionists, bi.... *sorry, tired of writing ist lists* who are hoping and praying Mitchell gets traded or burned at the stake
And, like herpes that never, EVER goes away, Jimmer will never leave the hearts and minds of his faithful. I'd call them fans, but they're more like fanatics who never give this a rest!
So to get the lowdown on this phenomenon returning after a brief hiatus, I went to my primary Jazz insider for the whys — as in why would the Jazz even entertain the notion of signing him?
“The Utah Jazz are going to struggle to put butts in seats next season if they go full rebuild. Love him or hate him, fans will be curious to see him. And he is capable still of hitting seemingly unbelievable shots,” said the insider. “The Jazz will need anything they can get to add some measure of excitement beyond the occasional young gun having a decent night. It wouldn't be a long term commitment by any means, and if it backfires you simply send him on his way. At the very least you're going to get a healthy bump in jersey sales by fans and collectors alike.”
And, why not showcase Jimmer in the new team colors that everyone [who's a tech bro whose name rhymes with Lyin Sith] really enjoys!
All, and I do mean, ALL of the BYU fans are 100 percent aboard on this idea.
I mean, HEAR. THEM. OUT. Jimmer lit up the TBT with 29 points in one game! That’s good enough for the NBA! Okay, it really is NOT. But, it WILL put more butts in the seats until the next savior comes along — no doubt!
And, there’s one other fact that could make this pipe dream a reality, added my Jazz insider. The owner, the CEO AND Jimmer all know the BYU fight song!
“What do Danny Ainge, Ryan Smith, and Jimmer Fredette have in common? BYU,” concluded the insider.
Listen, I hate to break it to you people but Jimmer hasn't been relevant inside the United States since he was 23. I know Utah is AT LEAST five years behind the rest of the country in trends and well, pretty much everything, but my gawd...do you REALLY WANT THIS DUDE BACK???
Like a cougar that got loose in these here parts of Utahr, there is someone who goes RAWR at the idea Utah’s prodigal son could be coming home.
My other Jazz insider and longtime season ticket holder says fans are LOSING. THEIR. MINDS OVER THIS FRIGGIN GUY!
“They are nuts,” he said. “I mean, sure, give him a shot but i don’t think it will change the outcome if he hasn’t been able to stick on any team in the NBA. He sucks at defense, he’s short for his position. And any of those aren’t factors on their own; they’re just facts! And, he only seems to play well overseas and his game is based only on offense.”
I’m sure Jimmer fans find that statement offensive, but it does hold merit. Also, he looks a tad chunky now at the ripe old age of 33, no?
But, ya know what makes
all most of the white people happyyyyyy? Jimmer! Jimmer is everything, EVERYTHING, they hoped and dreamed they could be when they were still 11 and harboring thoughts of being the next anti-vax John Stockton [even thohgh they didn't KNOW Stockton was anti-vax at the time because childhood and boogers taste good].
Their dads worked downtown with all of the other conservative racist bigots in big office buildings and dressed in the same Dockers and button down shirts and then rode TRAX To Sandy or Draper. Oh, wait, no, wait, they rode the EXPRESS BUS from downtown to Sandy or Draper then hopped in their car at the Park N' Ride cause it saves gas and they voted for Hatch 88 times and paid tithing and listened to Rush on the EIB Network on their Walkmans and …
But, unlike all 99.9999999999 percent of the players in the NBA, Jimmer represented something more important to most Utahns [even though he hailed from Glens Falls, NEW YORK and was only AT BYU for an education]: a way out from the GHETTOES of their suburbia cul-de-sacs! And, that room that smells like garments that you're NEVER to go into without permission, and that mom-can-I-have-another-Caprisun-please way of life — so I can go put up 1000 shots on my basketball court in the driveway without EVER setting foot in the paint other than to retrieve errant shots.
In other words, he is them! Jimmer’s a conservative who doesn’t play defense and has managed to somehow carve out a career throwing up shots through hard work and dedication on the easier end. It’s as much an oxymoron as Smith saying he doesn’t support abortion but does support social justice issues.
They all follow the same playbook their fathers, fathers of fathers and grandfathers all worked out of. Their dads rode the express to work; they ride TRAX. They all get dropped off at the same Park N' Ride and their kids and grandkids will in the next century as well when JETSONS CAPSULES DROP THEM OFF, bleep, blop, blip!
They don't follow the Eagle Forum and that crazy hag Gayle Ruzicka who is the Keith Richards of conservative Utah politics [both in look and feel] but they DO follow Newsmax, the MyPillow guy and that other hag senator with three names who is Gayle Ruzicka's illegitimate daughter; she just doesn’t know it yet.
In other words, nothing has changed! That feeling of belonging to something bigger than yourself in the annals of white suburbian history has NEVER died. In Utah, every time glimmers of Jimmer reappear, so too do those ghosts who dream of reliving Jimmermania all over again.
Brian has been a sports reporter at The City Journals for over a decade, and prior to that covered Utah sports at AXS and Yahoo! Sports. He is an alumnus of the University of Montana School of Journalism.
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A Quick Note
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